A Fight to Survive

Doktor cadangkan dua clinical trials untuk aku pertimbangkan. Well, few months ago I came across a statement made by a doctor in an article, that the doctors put people in clinical trials if they don't think there is anything they can do to save them. I guess it hit me pretty hard. Tapi aku cuba berfikiran positif, seyakin dan sepositif doktor-doktor yang merawat aku.

Aku bersetuju dengan cadangan kedua, kombinasi busulfan dan cyclophosphamide. Dua jenis ubat kanser dalam bentuk tablet, makan sebiji setiap sejenis, waktu yang sama setiap hari. Kedua-dua ubat ni dikelaskan sebagai alkylating agents. Tujuannya untuk memperlahankan atau menghentikan pertumbuhan sel kanser, terutama jenis kanser berkaitan darah.

Side effects? Semua ubat kanser mesti ada kesan sampingannya. Sama ada teruk atau sederhana. Bergantung pada ketahanan badan pesakit. I had a long discussion with my fellow fighters in the forum. It truly helps me and reassures me to know there are so many others who have gone through this and are here for me, for support. Takut juga bila dengar pengalaman mereka. Tapi aku berpegang pada jaminan doktor, 6 to 7 months of 'good health' before my body starts failing. Forget about the numbers..I just want to live.

Cyclophosphamide : Common side effects

• nausea
  
• vomiting
  
• loss of appetite or weight
  
• abdominal pain
  
• diarrhea
  
• hair loss
  
• sores on the mouth or tongue
  
• changes in skin colour
  
• changes in colour or growth of finger or toe nails
  
  Call doctor immediately if any of these symptoms appear:
  

• sore throat, fever, chills, or other signs of infection
  
• poor or slow wound healing
  
• unusual bruising or bleeding
  
• black, tarry stools
  
• painful urination or red urine
  
• rash
  
• hives
  
• itching
  
• difficulty breathing or swallowing
  
• shortness of breath
  
• cough
  
• swelling in the legs, ankles, or feet
  
• chest pain
  
• yellowing of the skin or eyes
  
  
  
  
  

Busulfan : Common side effects

• nausea
  
• diarrhea
  
• loss of appetite or weight
  
• constipation
  
• sores in the mouth and throat
  
• dry mouth
  
• headache
  
• difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
  
• feeling unusually anxious or worried
  
• dizziness
  
• swelling of the face, arms, hands, feet, ankles or lower legs
  
• chest pain
  
• joint, muscle or back pain
  
• skin rash
  
• itching and dry skin
  
• darkened skin
  
• hair loss
  
  Call doctor immediately if any of these symptoms appear:
  
  
• black, tarry stools
  
• red urine
  
• unusual tiredness or weakness
  
• difficulty breathing
  
• changes in vision
  
• vomiting
  
• stomach pain
• seizures

Aku sangat-sangat berharap kesannya nanti pada aku tak seteruk yang dijangkakan. Hari ini baru hari kedua, mungkin tak rasa apa sangat. Harap-harap beginilah untuk hari-hari mendatang. Semoga badan dapat bertahan. My liver is mildly enlarged in size. Harapnya juga akan ada perubahan selepas rawatan. Hanya Allah sebaik-baik pertolongan dan tempat aku bergantung harap..