Yesterday's blood count:
White blood count (WBC) 2.19*
Red blood count (RBC) 4.31
Haemoglobin (HGB) 14.0
Platelet (PLT) 27*
*Lowest white blood and PLT count on record
The infusion went well. I had a long serious discussion with my oncologist yesterday. I must confess that I am a bit disappointed and scared. Tiba-tiba rasa harapan makin kecik. E-mail panjang daripada therapist aku tentang relaxation dan stress management malam tadi belum cukup mengurangkan kerisauan. "Cari Tuhan, di situ awak akan jumpa ketenangan"..SMS seseorang subuh tadi mengajak aku mengumpul kekuatan untuk mencari semangat yang hilang. Terima kasih. And thanks to Ros for helping me to get a short rest today.
I guess at the end of the day, all I can do is hope that this pain will not get worse. Hope that all these are worth trying for. Hope that my cancer is treatable and doesn't come back for a very long period of time. Hope that I won't cause anymore troubles to all the people I love and care. Just hope.
Rintihan - Hijjaz
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